Before anything else, I should warn you that I'm not a fan of erotic novels most especially those that involve BDSM. This is the first time I've tried reading such a novel and fans be warned, what I'm about to say from hereon might burst your bubble.
I actually gave up the thought of reading Fifty Shades after reading dozens of bad reviews on Amazon and Goodreads but finally succumbed to the idea after being told that I was going to love Christian Grey—the ever mercurial, control freak, palm twitching, ridiculously rich, handsome, and sexy as hell CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. There are a lot more adjectives to describe Mr. Grey but I don't wanna bore you because the list could go on forever!
With all the hype surrounding this book (even saw it on E! News), I opted to give it a try and much to my disappointment, I barely managed to finish it 'cause it sucked BIG time. I expected a whole lot of story but what I got was insatiable young adults wanting fornication and kinky fuckery on every page—well, mostly, but you get the picture. It left me wondering whether every erotic novel is written like this and at some point, I wanted to put down the book and move on to reading A.N. Roquelaure's (also known as Anne Rice) Sleeping Beauty just to make a comparison.
I don't know how my friend managed to skip the sex scenes in the book and concentrate mainly on the story because I seriously don't know what she'll be left reading. I even lose count of the number of times they DID the act and boredom hits you in the face after reading a few chapters. I mean, I agree with what one reviewer wrote that if you took out the parts where the female character Anastasia Steele is biting or chewing her lip, the book will be down to 50 pages! I wanted to smack my head every time she does this which for some reason turns her partner on or when Christian cocks his head to one side on and on and on again. And don't get me started every time Ana refers to her "inner goddess" and "subconscious". I might suffer a head injury if I ever hear those words again. >.<
I was experiencing a slight case of déjà vu as I was reading through the pages of the book. Not that surprising since the novels were inspired by Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. Turn Edward the vampire, a character from fantasy into a reality and you get Christian Grey with twisted problems of his own. Anastasia, on the other hand, is so much like Bella—brunette, virgin, insecure about her looks and questioning whether she deserves the god-like creature or not. I'd much rather re-read the whole Twilight novels than go back to this poor excuse of a novel. It's fan fiction for crying out loud.
Oh, and one last thing. Since Universal Pictures and Focus Features picked up the film rights to this trilogy, I sure do hope they reconsider and try to fit the whole series into one movie. But what the hell! Satan's gonna poke my eyes with his trident repeatedly if I even try to catch a glimpse of the whole kinky fuckery in the big screen. Might as well make a pass. Unless, of course, if I dig the actor. ;)
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This is exactly the image I had in mind of Christian Grey (courtesy of one reviewer from goodreads.com):
The last picture still haunts me every time I picture out Christian. God bless his soul.
